OH MY.

Well, I have officially abandoned the dear ole blog. BAD BLOGGER, BAD! I am going to try to do better. Really. No promises. But I will certainly try.

STILL love you all mucho. Whether you believe me or not. ;)

Swing Swing Swing

Teething...

We're not getting a whole lotta this... but we do finally have one little tooth poking through. Hooray!

Sittin' Pretty

I'm baaaaaaack...

Emery Jane, all bundled up for her very first bonfire!

It's been a while... too long. Life has been crazy, but that's no excuse. Not only has not blogging left you all in the dark about the big move and life back in the HKWeezy, but it has also deprived me of my most cathartic, soul-cleansing outlet at one of the most stressful points in my life. Sure, it may sound like I'm being mellowdramatic, but I am totally serious. Writing helps me decompress. And over the past two weeks, I have been wound pretty damn tight.


The move went so well, but like everything else, packing and planning and loading and traveling are all much different with a baby in tow. Thank goodness mom, my little bro Cory and his girlfriend, Ashley came to help out. Emery flew back with mom Monday morning before the rest of us hit the highway. Since it was the first night away from her since she was born, my nerves were a little shot... unnecessarily, of course. The flight wasn't great, but they made it through. They got home, and she slept better that night than she had in a month. (Phew!) Us road warriors arrived the next day, and I was ready to squeeze on my baby girl and then promptly pass out from the exhaustion of driving 18 hours of the most boring interstate in America (thank you, Alabama and Mississippi.) But there was unpacking to do before I could even think about such a thing. Little did I know that the real stress was just about to set in.

I still don't know what brought on the miniature panic attacks I would deal with over the next week, or why I immediately felt so overwhelmed the minute we pulled in the driveway. Maybe it was the stacks upon stacks of boxes, bins and bags that piled up oh so quickly once the unloading of the truck began. Or maybe it was the fact that there were 10 people in our tiny little house at any given time, all demanding my attention or direction and seemingly none listening to anything I was saying. Looking back, it was more likely the magnitude of the move hitting me like a ton of bricks at that very moment. I mean, as happy as I was/am about being home, it is a change. A big one. One I never thought I would make. I never thought I would live in North Carolina ever again. Let alone back in Hickory, within a mile of practically every member of my family. And now, here I was, baby on my hip, filling this same little house with a life Brian and Emery and I had built halfway across the country.  Was this really happening? It was surreal.

Those first few days were rough. I cried daily. My OCD took over by default, and I fought every decision tooth and nail. But just as all of our things slowly began to find their place, as family enveloped us with the love and support we moved here in search of, I began to relax. As I snuggled with Emery at her very first bonfire, breathing the clean, crisp air, I found peace. As we continue to hang curtains and rearrange furniture and relearn the creaks in the floor, I find comfort.

And today, as I sit here typing this, I could not be more sure that this was the right move for us. We belong here. There's no place like HOME.

All Apologies

Please accept this apology. I have not abandoned you, dear blog. I have merely spent the past two weeks moving back across the country, loving on my family, comforting a still-not-sleeping-through-the-night baby and trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to get the house in order. If it makes you feel better, I have not been on facebook, and my Google Reader is OVERFLOWING with things I'd love to catch up on but just haven't found the time for.

I promise I will be back. Soon. Very soon. Bear with me.

Last Day

Well, it's here. My last day at work. The range of emotions that was sure to come with this move will likely begin to manifest today, here at the office. I love these people, and Hallmark Casework has been good to me. I'll miss them.

Why Mom Guilt is Good

A Wonderful Article for Mamas
(Reblogged from Sometimes Sweet)

Why Mom Guilt is Good - Teresa Strasser is the author of the new book Exploiting My Baby, and she has an important message for moms: Guilt is good. Read on to find out why…

One. More. Week.

and we'll be NC-bound!

Just wanted to share my excitement. :)

"Divine right action is always taking 

place in my life. I love and 

approve of myself. All is well."

~Louise Hay, Heal Your Body

As I clean out my office, I peel away the tattered sticky note from my monitor with this quote on it. I have found comfort in these words on so many occasions. There is something bigger than each and every one of us out there. And whether you believe it's God, the gods, Mother Nature, Karma, or something totally different, it's worth remembering that, no matter how hard we try, we are not in control.

Christmas Morning

Prune-tastic!

Say Whaaaaat?!?!

Cowlick

Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep... PLEASE DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, JUST GO TO SLEEP!

A three-hour nap on the plane? Yes, please! A full night's rest? Not so fast...

It’s 10:45 on a Monday night, and your head just hit the pillow. Your eyes drift closed and, like a child worn plum out from the day’s activities, you’re gone to dreamland. For thirty whole minutes. Then you hear it: the ominous shuffle of crib sheets on the monitor as a baby’s head turns back and forth and back and forth. She lets out a little whine, and you try your best not to curse and/or cry. She’s up. And so begins another long night.

You pray to every God you’ve ever heard of that she will drift back off to sleep, knowing good and well that closing your eyes and trying to go back to sleep is an exercise in absolute futility. It’s not that bad, you attempt to remind yourself 30 seconds later as the whining grows louder. You practically jump out of bed and run to the kitchen, attempting the impossible act of making a bottle while she’s still half asleep, before the full-on wailing begins. There are so many would-be parents out there that would gladly sacrifice each and every wink of sleep they’ve ever gotten to be right where you are. “Cherish every moment,” you say out loud. Just then: “WAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Too slow.

As you maneuver her out of the crib and into the living room, the monitor beeps. Shit. You forgot to turn it off when you picked her up, and now it’s trying to warn you that your baby has quit breathing. You have five seconds to run back into her room and turn it off before incessant beeping startles everyone even more awake than the screaming baby already has. Too bad you’ll never make it. 

Gently shove (oxymoron?) the bottle into the baby’s mouth to try to counterbalance the trauma she’s just been through, bless her heart. Stub your toe on a toy or step on a remote. Practically fall into the recliner. Realize you didn’t grab a paci or a burp cloth and hope and pray you don’t need either. Sigh. Late night feeding at its finest.

As she sucks down her lactose-sensitive formula, you ponder how many times you’ll be up tonight. Once an hour? Twice? Will you get lucky and get two or even three hour increments? Probably not. Even more daunting, will she go back down in her crib at all tonight? Or, after an hour of trying every trick in the book, will you have to bring her to bed with you just so you can get some rest? Who IS this baby that wakes up several times a night, and what happened to MY baby? The one who has been sleeping through the night for months? Is her belly still recuperating from our failed attempt at introducing solid foods? Is it just the teething? Should we give her more Tylenol or some of that homeopathic crap or Little Teethers or nothing at all? Could THAT stuff be hurting her belly? Is it the temperature of her room? The noisy neighbors? The crib mattress? Surely not. She’s been sleeping in that crib in that room since she was 5 weeks old, and she has never been so restless. Inevitably, you begin to question every parenting decision you’ve ever made. As tears roll down your cheeks, you wonder if she’s as happy and healthy as she could be. You should have continued breastfeeding at all costs or at least bought the expensive, name-brand formula for goodness’ sake. If only you would have made her sleep on her back instead of her tummy and stuck to a schedule. Why didn’t you read more baby books? What happened to cloth diapering?   

On the verge of a full-fledged meltdown, she intervenes with a contented sigh. You look down to see her tiny little hand caressing yours, and every. last. worry. just disappears. Since that fateful day you found out you were expecting, you’ve been hopelessly devoted to this baby. Every thought, word and deed has been dedicated to her livelihood, her safety and her happiness. You have spent the past almost five months getting to know her, fulfilling her every need and learning how to be not just any mommy, but her mommy. Twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. You know and love her more than anyone on the face of the planet. No matter what friends, family or the internet says, you and only you know deep down what is right for her, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make her the happiest, healthiest, most loved baby on the face of the freaking planet. Even if that means never sleeping again. 

So, take a deep breath, pick yourself up out of that fugly but functional recliner and do what you do best, mama. And, if all else fails and she just won’t go down, snuggle with that baby without worrying that she’ll never sleep alone again. She will. And so will you.

Heisman!

Goooooal: Me So Crafty

It’s no secret that, when you become a mama, life changes dramatically. “Free time” becomes a laugh-so-you-don’t-cry, nonexistent entity. At least for the first few months. But then, like magic, you find yourself with a millisecond here and there and a DIRE need to do something other than the housework that has piled up all around. By this point, it’s been so long since you even thought about doing anything other than taking care of a baby, you don’t even know where to start. Surfing the internet is a valid option, as is reading a book, but neither of those things are very active. There’s always exercise if you’re feeling really motivated. But if you’re looking for something a little more interactive than reading and a little less intense than working out, there’s an awesome option you’re sure to run across in about 17 seconds if you so much as test the waters of the mommy blog world: CRAFTING.

If you’re like me, you haven’t crafted anything since elementary school. (Well, other than that beer can angel tree topper you made for your pathetic excuse for a Christmas tree in your college apartment? Does that even count?) But if you enjoyed making turkeys out of tracings of your chubby little hand as a kid, it’s highly likely that you would enjoy the grown-up crafting too. It’s cheap and easy, fun for one or with a group of crafty friends. (I even know one super cool lady who hosts a craft night at her house each week that I CANNOT WAIT to attend once we’re back in North Carolina. Check ‘em out at Copy Cat Crafters.) There’s something so soothing about wrapping yarn around a wreath form and, as an added bonus, crafting is a process that can be set down if your teething baby decides that sleeping through the night is for the birds… and picked up again in a few minutes, hours, days or *gulp* weeks. (Hey, life happens, okay? Don’t judge.)

So, a couple of months back, I busted out my old, measly craft box. I started small with my craftiness, mastering felt flowers and a few yarn crafts. I made a few trips to Hobby Lobby and Michael’s to build up my stash of supplies, and I added a few crafting blogs to my Google Reader.  Now, I have more bookmarked ideas than I can count. Case in point: these A-DORABLE T-shirt pom poms from Craftaholics Anonymous for Emery’s new room in North Carolina.

What’s my point, right? Well, in 2011, I aim to set aside some time for myself to make my way down the list, tackling projects big and small. I look forward to the sense of accomplishment that comes along with each pretty little thing I create... and the me-time that every new mama desperately needs.

BIG News

Ya know that big announcement I told you to stay tuned for? Well, here goes...

I’ve been pondering this blog post for quite a while. How do I share this decision we’ve made? Will you be as surprised as we were? Or did you see it coming all along? Either way, it's finally time to share our big news.

We’re coming home! Mama, Papa and Baby LeBlanc are headed back to North Carolina. 

Until the very first day I held my brand-new baby in my arms, I never dreamed I would utter those words. I can’t even count the number of times I said, “We’ll move closer to home one day, but I don’t think we’ll ever move back.” But right there in the hospital, a thousand miles away from parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, the seed was planted. With each passing day, as we celebrate the triumphs and overcome the struggles, Brian and I both have realized that this is no longer where we belong. Our cravings for freedom and big-city life have been replaced with a deep longing for the simple comforts of home. Family birthday parties and impromptu get-togethers. Lifelong friends and built-in babysitters. Gem mines and fire pits. Clean water, clear air and real seasons. The mountains and the ocean.  And in the end, the decision was an easy one. We just can’t bear to keep Emery away from the family and friends that love her oh so much any longer.

Even so, our departure will be bittersweet. Without a doubt, Houston has been good to us. We’ve grown… and grown up… here. We’ve built a life completely our own, the ups and downs and everything in between. We started our little family here, and for that one precious memory alone, we could never thank Houston enough.

So, wish us luck as we begin to pack up the past two years of our life and head on back to the Tar Heel state. Can you see the sunshine? Can’t you just feel the moonshine?

Hello, 2011!

res·o·lu·tion [rez-uh-loo-shuhn] – noun – a formal expression of opinion or intention

The inevitable New Year’s post is here, and I have been going back and forth on how to go about it.  I’m not really a “resolutions” kind of girl. Sure, I’d like to lose a few pounds and save a little money and explore potential career opportunities. But my random list of ambiguous goals can’t exactly be considered the formal, life-changing proclamations that most people think of when you say “resolution.” And when you really think about it, how much sense does it make to try to plan out an entire year in advance? 

Not only that, one of my main hopes for myself precisely contradicts the list-making most people embark upon so willy nilly. This year, I am going to try to let go of the obsessive-compulsive tendencies I’ve developed since leaving college and entering this crazy “real world” where responsibilities loom large and nothing seems to go as planned. (Who knew the uncanny ability to photographically memorize my class notes wouldn’t come in nearly as handy as it did in school?!) For far too long, the loud, proud, hippie of a free spirit inside of me has been shushed by this anxious, worrisome, controlling version of myself that just won't. shut. up. But that girl is no more.

First on the list of banned activities? You guessed it: excessive list-making. So, I’ve decided to do things a little differently this year. Rather than make an intimidating laundry list of all my goals for the year at once, I’m going to make a conscious effort to identify things daily/weekly/monthly, things silly and serious, big and small, that I want or need to accomplish. Then, perhaps even more importantly, I am going to try to hold myself accountable without feeling guilty when I inevitably fall short. 

So, here’s to this brand new year and all the challenges and opportunities it will certainly bring. There are already some very BIG changes in store for our little family that I just cannot wait to share… stay tuned!